This is going to be a hard birthday for multiple reasons: my dad passed just 2 months before this birthday and when I always, always saw him on my birthday. This is my 3rd birthday in isolation, 8th being home bound. I've learned I don't have a family, not even extended, that I can rely on to even be kind to me when my dad dies, let alone celebrate me. I am also going through some personal things that I don't feel comfortable sharing, but trust, it's very very difficult. I'd love if you would celebrate with me...yes, you! Please don't assume other people will, either. Last time I asked for help in 2018, I got zero inquires. I don't think it's because people didn't want to, or were intentionally trying to ignore me...I think they just assumed others, would.
Birthdays mean a lot to me, now. After having spent 20 years being suicidal (11-31)... the fact that I am still here especially having chronic pain which makes life extremely difficult, it makes it incredibly special every time I make it another year.
Being surrounded by the floral arrangements after my
dad died, felt really nice and healing. Since I've been locked down for three birthdays…I want to find some way to make my environment feel like it's not just another day. But I also don’t want anyone wasting money on flowers as they’re too expensive. lol
I have some great things to really celebrate this birthday… like finally getting a diagnosis of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome & having a team of doctors that actually are listening and respectful...after 15 years of fighting and searching. I found an amazing therapist, we click so well...again after years and years of searching for one, I found one that isn't intimidated by me being autistic or disabled (trust me it's a lot harder to find a good therapist than you may think). This therapist actually wants to dig into things I tell her and that is huge. It's so worthy of celebration with how hard it’s been to find this unicorn of a therapist. I can also tell I'm at a point in my life where big changes are coming and it's terrifying.
I'd really love if anyone could help me celebrate. I'd really love any help I can get this year to make this birthday be really special. It's April 21st, I have two lists, one with supplements because I happened to run out of a lot of them at the same time & it adds up (go figure) It’s embarrassing to even have to ask but, I’m going to reach out when I need to as I’m struggling in multiple ways (especially with this massive social isolation). I believe there shouldn't be stigma for reaching out for help..so I'm doing it. I'm struggling & dreading my birthday & I really don't want to be, because I did make it another year. A very hard year.
I’d hope if anyone cares enough to read about my life, they’ll care enough to help me celebrate it. 💜
