These are trying times for us all, and will be traumatic for far too many. We will all be touched by this, we are all going to lose someone, at least know someone we care about lose someone. None will be completely untouched of grief and even trauma. This is the time to be educated about trauma and how we can help ourselves and how important authentic kindness is. Notice I say authentic, not obligated....there’s a difference Obligated kindness, if not see through...the person being kind out of obligation will eventually lose patience, then hurting the person more than I’d they’d just ignored them would have.
I think this is an important graphic showing the effects of trauma on the body and how to try to resolve (a huge oversimplification) some of these. What’s interesting is under “Cellular Changes” trauma can cause cancer and a possible “resolution” to this is: social support.
I think this is an important graphic showing the effects of trauma on the body and how to try to resolve (a huge oversimplification) some of these. What’s interesting is under “Cellular Changes” trauma can cause cancer and a possible “resolution” to this is: social support.
One big thing I wanted to point out is how important social support is in preventing cancer, especially for those with trauma. Inclusion, acceptance, understanding and words...matter bigger than we even thought.
We are told when we seek counseling we need a good solid social support system of 3+ people close by that love had support you. We are told to get a good social support system in place but a lot of times we are there because we don’t have a good social support system. I always wonder how counselors expect us to do this, too. “hey! I am struggling, would you be so kind to help me?” (I’ve tried) It more than not comes with some kind of criticism...attention seeking, being negative, self involved, “suck it up”and so many other comments that are the opposite of social support often happen and I became incredibly isolated. From both form my having to be by being stuck in bed or on the couch in pain, and because invites stopped (I’m not complaining, just telling what happened).
When my trauma became coming to a head in my barely mid 20’s and manifesting in my body, when it all started releasing, while I was trying to cope with leaving a home I didn’t feel emotionally safe in, I lost pretty much everyone (whilst also realizing I never had them to begin with). People took it personally I couldn’t come out, party and drink when I was in so much pain. This isn’t self pitying, I’m simply stating facts and expressing my own fears and things that have shaped me.
I became extremely isolated. Early 20’s who wants to play board games or do things I can do? My friends were pro drinking & anti cannabis. I needed cannabis for when it did help pain & so my friends were pro drinking anti cannabis or, yeah that way it I was bullied, by adults who are more covert and duplicitous. Who took advantage and laughed at my nativity. Made negative assumptions, spread half stories and outright lies.
We need to treat trauma better. There are going to be a lot of more people experiencing grief... which can be utterly traumatic and needing social support. A lot of people need social support right now. We need to be kind.
So...please just support each other...everyone. I know with physical distancing “in person” support is hard but there are so many simple way to show you support someone that don’t require to be in person. Especially the liners and those who will continue to be isolated after. 💜
